So, therapy? Not as scary as I thought. The gal I'm seeing managed to put me at ease right away. It felt weird to begin with, to just ramble on about myself, but before I knew it, our time was up! (That sounded like it was right out of some movie)
We are meeting again next week. I'm excited, hopeful, and I have a sense of calm. Like, we ate dinner after I got home, and I haven't once gotten up and looked for something else to eat. Normally, I prowl around the kitchen like a god damned starving hyena, but tonight I sat in peace, covered in my electric fleece blanket, with two kitties perched about, and didn't even think about food. Which is a startling development.
I mean, I'm sure this feeling will last until I feel stressed, anxious, sad, mad, etc... But this kind of calm and peace is rare in my head, and this kind of behavior is absolutely not the norm. I very much want to build upon this.
She asked me tonight... "If you set aside the binge eating and emotional eating, would you feel good about your relationship with food?" And I could resolutely say YES. I mean, that seems like a no-brainer, right? But it was kind of a light bulb moment.
(I wrote that yesterday, and couldn't decide if I was going to post it)