Thursday, March 3, 2011

Therapy. Huh.

So, therapy?  Not as scary as I thought.  The gal I'm seeing managed to put me at ease right away.  It felt weird to begin with, to just ramble on about myself, but before I knew it, our time was up!  (That sounded like it was right out of some movie)

We are meeting again next week.  I'm excited, hopeful, and I have a sense of calm.  Like, we ate dinner after I got home, and I haven't once gotten up and looked for something else to eat.  Normally, I prowl around the kitchen like a god damned starving hyena, but tonight I sat in peace, covered in my electric fleece blanket, with two kitties perched about, and didn't even think about food.  Which is a startling development.

I mean, I'm sure this feeling will last until I feel stressed, anxious, sad, mad, etc...  But this kind of calm and peace is rare in my head, and this kind of behavior is absolutely not the norm.  I very much want to build upon this.

She asked me tonight... "If you set aside the binge eating and emotional eating, would you feel good about your relationship with food?"  And I could resolutely say YES.  I mean, that seems like a no-brainer, right?  But it was kind of a light bulb moment.

(I wrote that yesterday, and couldn't decide if I was going to post it)


  1. I'm really enjoying your writing, Courtney. I prowl around the kitchen after dinner too. What the hell am I looking for? I'm not hungry. So, what is it? I feel like my running just barely keeps me from being overweight, and that I'm always teetering on the edge of it.

    You might enjoy this book:

    I'm reading it now, and I can really relate to his relationship to food.


  2. Crap, the link doesn't work.

    It's called:
    Born Round

    By Frank Bruni. I highly recommend it!


  3. L,
    Thanks for the recommendation. I'm definitely interested in reading about this stuff... As for the prowling, I have no idea. I equally as relieved when I find something as when I don't. Although the two reliefs are definitely different.

  4. Wow, that's interesting, about being relieved when you don't find anything to eat. Absolutely.
    "Lightbulb moment!"