The obvious solution is to turn on lights. But I'm all ANXIOUS and FIDGETY right now and I'm more than a tiny bit afraid to get up, because I feel like I'll be stuffing food in my mouth if I do!! Right now I'm "safe" here on the couch covered up in a blanket, tucked in with my laptop.
I used my therapist's trick of working backwards to figure out what's got me all a'twitter. I didn't eat enough during the day (unconsciously trying to be "good" for reasons I'll talk about in a second) and was fucking ravenous when I got home. So we opted for a frozen pizza, right at the intersection of tasty & fast.
And can I just rant for a bit about how much I don't like yogurt, but really want to? GAH. I keep buying the shit, thinking I'll eat it for a filling snack in the afternoon, and then I open up my cute little purple insulated lunch sack and stare in at my fancy lemon chobani and think "Meh" and instead eat a fucking roll of lifesavers? REALLY???
The lifesavers were not in my cute little purple insulated lunch sack, mind you. They were on the breakroom table. Free candy is not a battle I win often.
For the record, I'm writing my way thru this anxiety wave right now. It will subside. Or so they tell me.
So I have been unconciously trying to be good. At least that is my deduction, based on my behaviors today. I didn't eat enough today. Then I got the big fat hunger binge. We are running a weight-loss challenge at work. And by WE, I mean ME. PressurePressurePressurePressure. Lots of negative talk about weight and appearance and stuff like that. It's eating away at my brain!! Like a god damned zombie. So, my job = a zombie. I knew it.
Oh, and my hubby just came upstairs and turned on a light for me. This is why I love him.